This personal benzo story is told in Laurie’s own words. She has been through a lot as a result of being on these medications. Thank you Laurie for being so brave and sharing your story with us to raise awareness.
We issue a trigger warning for more sensitive readers.
How It All Began
Before I started taking benzos, I was very funny in a dry way. Very sharp and witty. I excelled in every area I put effort into.
I was prescribed 1 mg Klonopin for stressed induced anxiety. I took Klonopin for 6 years before switching to Valium.
I Noticed a Decline in My Mental Health
I began to notice a decline in my mental health and a lack of motivation or interest in things I usually loved.
The simplest of things started to become difficult to do, as well as no desire to do it.
I started to develop more anxiety, but worse than before benzos, more like fear and terror of everything.
Things Got Worse
As time went on things got worse. Fear kept me housebound. I could not read, watch TV or cook. I was a brain dead zombie.
I started researching benzos and it all made sense.
Tapering Began January 2018
I knew I had to get off the drug. I started tapering in Jan 2018.
My symptoms were horrific:
nausea
extreme weight loss
tremors
tinnitus
skull crushing headaches
blurred vision
eye pressure
light and sound sensitive
GI issues
heart palpitations
tachycardia
high blood pressure
insomnia
horrible intrusive thoughts
vivid dreams
night sweats
internal roasting
depersonalization / derealization
cognitive issues
extreme fear
nerve pain
muscle tension
severe depression
benzo rage
uncontrollable crying
over stimulation
brain burning
zaps, head buzzing
and on and on.
Still Tapering
I am not finished with taper at this point. I have 1.3mg Valium left to go. This experience has destroyed every aspect of my life.
I am unable to work, many medical bills, strained relationships. They say healing happens, but after 16 months, not convinced. I worry I will never return to normal.
People please do not take these drugs. Your world will turn upside down. There are no words to describe this hell.”
Final Words From Benzo Warrior
Thank you so much Laurie for sharing your story with us to help raise awareness. We are so very sorry for what you are going through. We are here to support you as much as we can in the Benzo Warrior Community.
For our readers, if you are on these medications please do not stop abruptly (cold turkey) as the risks include seizures, psychosis and death. It is worth noting that anyone taking these medications is at risk of dependence, tolerance and addiction, even when taken exactly ‘as prescribed’.
If you are in need of support as you withdraw and heal from these medications please join us in the private Benzo Warrior Community on Facebook.