Today we tell the story of Juliet and her experiences with benzodiazepines and withdrawal. If you wish to share your own Benzo Story we would be honored to tell it.
How It All Began
I was prescribed 2.5 mg Valium for 6 weeks prior to spinal surgery to help with muscle spasm. My Dr told me i would not become dependent at such a low dose /short duration and could just stop after the surgery which I did.
All hell broke loose, my heart rate and blood pressure were sky high, i had severe jerking and an electrical vibrations all through my body plus a zillion other horrific symptoms.
Reinstated
I was reinstated to 5mg but 3 days later was cut off (cold turkeyed) again.
I reinstated after a week in hell to 2.5 mg and then tapered by 0.5mg every 5 days. My heart rate was sitting at 190 and blood pressure was 260/130. It is impossible to describe those horrific days.
Complications and Protracted Withdrawal
Two weeks later i had a stroke. My heart had gone into atrial fibrillation and caused the stroke. I had no prior cardiac issues, proven by a full cardiac workup pre and post surgery, which was completely normal.
Two years later i am in protracted withdrawal and 6 weeks ago i had another stroke from which I have lost my vision. The continuing adrenaline surges have damaged the lining of my blood vessels in my heart causing it to misfire.
Ongoing Symptoms
So now i have brain damage on top of a brain injury. i am permanently disabled and my husband has had to leave his job to look after me. I've been told it is unlikely that my vision will return. I am still battling withdrawal symptoms of burning skin, burning mouth, electrical buzzing throughout my body which can actually be felt by others, adrenaline jolts that wake me up every hour of the night culminating in a final "toxic wake up" at 4am. I have muscle pain and severe fatigue, terrifying derealisation, plus much more.
I don't know how to live like this and my life feels over. The loneliness of people not understanding this is beyond words. I have to take beta blockers and strong blood thinners for life, i was fit and healthy prior to taking the Valium, i had a mechanical issue with my back that was successfully fixed.
My Dr's ignorance with regard to prescribing and ceasing my benzo makes me feel angry beyond belief. My biggest wish is that Dr's learn to recognise the deadly nature of these drugs and cease prescribing them. There is no place for them outside of the ER in my opinion. My family have been severely impacted by my health issues, i became a grandmother 18 months ago but I'm too unwell to fly across the world to meet her.
This is a catastrophe beyond my wildest dreams, I am devastated that 6 weeks use could result in this. I hope that if any Dr reads this that they will not casually prescribe these poisons, they are not candy.
Final words from Benzo Warrior
Thank you so much Juliet for your bravery in sharing your story with us. . We are here to support you as much as we can in the Benzo Warrior Community.
For our readers, if you are on these medications please do not stop abruptly (cold turkey) as the risks include seizures, psychosis and death. It is worth noting that anyone taking these medications is at risk of dependence, tolerance and addiction, even when taken exactly ‘as prescribed’.